Some Are Just Not Meant To Slow Down

This is hard in so many ways and I wanted to break down two attributes that are found in most working parents which uncover some of the core personal realities at work right now. Goal oriented and over achievers are struggling but this might be masked by all the other really hard parts of being a parent to young kids during a pandemic. Foundationally individuals that show these attributes thrive when they hit milestones that are believed to get them to the next step in our career, motherhood, and marriage. All of sudden we are being told to slow down, take time for your family, be present in the moment, continue to show value at work, demonstrate relevance, and somehow pivot from goals or plans many of us have been working on for months or maybe even years. Just typing out these words gives me stress. 

Then add navigating productivity during COVID-19. This has been incredibly challenging; the goal oriented over achievers find themselves frustrated and defeated day in and day out. The reality of trying to accomplish tasks, stay focused, and somehow meet the needs of all the things that make us feel satisfied are leaving so many wanting to do more but either do not have the energy or time. 

The feeling of moving forward is incredibly satisfying and when that has been stripped away it can take a toll on your mental health. The realization and impact of having to adjust how you are essentially built is quite a difficult mind shift.  Ultimately there are many that do not thrive when they slow down; the stillness makes them anxious or unsettled. While I know there is an importance of the idea of practicing stillness, I think there is something to be said about honoring who you are.

So now that I have laid it out there let’s be honest, I’m talking about myself here. I’m competitive to a fault, if someone tells me I can’t I figure a way to I can and I will, I feel joy in goals and accomplished when I hit them, and I’m determined to overcome adversity.  The Corona Virus quite frankly left me depleted for all the reasons that so many working parents feel but at the core of who I am and the way that I thrive I was left unsatisfied as days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months. Something had to give so here are my top three things that have given me back those abilities to achieve, work towards goals, and feel accomplished each day. This isn’t a “make you better” piece this is a feel yah and this is how I’m surviving. 

#1 Simplified my tasks to three of the most important each day and wrote them down so I could check them off.

 #2 Timed my tasks using the Pomodoro Method. Giving a timer to projects and tasks within a project has been huge to feel like at least I worked towards and end goal.

 #3 Tackling the big things when my energy is high and the less complex things when my energy is low. I’m more likely to actually finish the task vs. pushing it off because I don’t feel like it if I shift when I do certain things. 

Doing these three simple things each day has really shifted my mood and what I discovered was that this is where I really was struggling. Yes, the days are hard with three small kids during quarantine but taking away who I was at the core was what foundationally left each morning less desirable then the previous one. We all have qualities that make up who we are and in order to stop surviving and start living having tools to support those qualities is incredibly important.